Part 3- Countdown: A birthing Goddess!

2 days to go- Sunday, 3rd October

11.20pm

My husband wheeled me through the dimly lit hospital and into the elevator. Up we rode. As soon as we reached our floor I stood and leant against the wall outside the elevator and breathed through another contraction. I must have been noisier than I thought as a nurse came out of birth suite to see what was going on. It was nice and quiet and private being late on a Sunday night. She scurried away to find Anne. Anne came out and led us in to a birth suite room. It was dimly lit and looked comfortable enough.

Anne handed me a little cup and asked me to go into the bathroom and pee in it. This proved to be easier said than done as there was barely enough time to pee in it between my contractions now. They were almost coming one on top of the other. I did manage it though and Anne fed back that I was slightly dehydrated. Unsurprising really, as I couldn't hold anything down, including fluids! Anne then wanted to hook me up to the CTG and take my blood pressure. At this point I was standing leaning over the bed, resting my arms on it for support. Anne raised the bed to make me more comfortable. I anxiously asked how our baby was coping once the CTG was in place and Anne said 'beautifully!' I was so relieved. I had worried a bit at home, as we had no idea what was going on for our baby, given the state of my umbilical cord. My blood pressure was 105/65. Perfect. Anne then said she'd like to do an internal to get an idea of where things were at. I feebly agreed and managed to get up onto the bed. Whilst Anne was examining me I had the most painful contraction yet. I couldn't move, it was excruciating. How the hell did women do this on their backs??? Holy hell it hurt!!

Anne said gently 'honey, if you get the urge to push, just go with your body'. What the??!!!! I was hours off, surely I was hours off?? Nope! Anne said I was fully dilated and could only feel a small rim of cervix. Our baby was coming very soon!

I was back standing again and Anne hurridly said she was going to get a second midwife from birth suite as she needed a second pair of hands. When they got back, my body made an involuntary push and warm liquid rushed down between my legs. I immediately said 'I've peed myself!' God, how embarrasing?! On second thoughts 'I think my waters just broke'. Thank God it was my waters! :) They took the CTG off me as they couldn't get our baby's heart beat given she was heading through the birth canal. So luckily I only had the thing on for about 30-40 minutes.

My body did another push and I was like oh God I need to do a number two! I'd heard all these stories of women pooing in labour and felt horrified that I might do that. Anne said 'honey, that's your baby's head'. Why didn't anyone tell me pushing the head out felt like pushing one gigantic poo out??:) It felt like her head came out partially and then went back in. Another two pushes and her head was out. My breathing was erratic during the first push and Anne got Mum to stand opposite me and breath steadily. I slowed my breathing to match my Mum's. My husband was down the other end and was looking at our baby's face by this point!!

Anne asked if I wanted to see our baby's head in a mirror. No I did not want to see my baby's head in a mirror. If I was meant to see down there I would have been born with a go go gadget neck or something. For me, some things are best left the way nature intended. This was one of them. Anne then asked if I wanted to touch our baby's head. Mmm not really either thanks. But she grabbed my hand to touch it anyway. It was slimy and gross. Now my hand was all icky. Thanks.

There was a long break in my contractions and our baby had a slight blue tinge and was just hanging out with her head. Anne said 'sweetie, you're going to have to give me one more push'. My response 'Nup, she's just going to have to stay in there, I've got nothing left!'. Somehow I mustered up the energy and gave a push. Out slipped our baby into my husbands hands. Our baby was born!!!

It was 12.11am on the 4th October, my Grandfather's birthday. 1 day away from my due date! Hurrah! We'd avoided all of our fears and birthed exactly how we'd hoped. I'd pushed her out in 18 minutes! My husband regularly recalls and loves telling people, that Anne called me a birthing Goddess :)

My husband passed our baby up to me between my legs cord still attached. I nestled her close. Someone said he's tiny. I was like 'did we have a boy??' I had no idea, I hadn't looked. The person responded 'I don't know, I just assumed'. I gently moved my tiny baby away from my body and looked, I couldn't see any boy bits, but I couldn't be sure. 'I think we've had a girl'. Anne came over and confirmed that we did indeed have a little girl!!!!

I looked over our beautiful little baby girl. She was perfect. Purely and completely, perfect. I stroked her long delicate fingers with her perfect little finger nails and touched her matted head of hair. Anne put a pre warmed blanket around the two of us. I held her close. I looked up at my husband and said 'we have a baby girl. She's perfect!'. He nodded smiling with tears in his eyes. As I write this, a single tear drips down my cheek with the happy, supremely special memory of that moment. I hold my sleeping baby girl in my arms now and remember that exact moment. I'll savor that forever.