Leading up to my pregnancy I was pretty active, running, biking, swimming and playing waterpolo. For those of you that know me, I'm usually pretty bouncy (some may have used the term hyperactive to describe me in the past:) and smiley. We'd decided to keep the pregnancy to ourselves until at least 12 weeks. This wouldn't have been so hard had I not felt so exhaustingly tired and nauseous all the time. I didn't puke, just felt sick morning, noon and night. NOTHING helped. I tried ginger, peppermint tea, dry crackers, grazing all day long to name just a few. So I had to bounce into work with a happy face, get to my office, shut the door, groan in nauseating agony and sit down resting my tired head on my desk. Somehow I had to concentrate and get through the day. Every time someone came in, back came the happy 'I'm not feeling like absolute shit' face.
When we finally told everyone I was pregnant at about 14 weeks, people were like oh second trimester will be amazing. You'll feel this, that, energised, your nausea will pass blah blah blah blah blah. Well I didn't. Apparently my body was different to theirs (OK I know people were well meaning, but when you feel like crap, it really isn't helpful). And the first time I actually vomited from morning sickness was on the first day of the second trimester AND in the evening. So apparently my pregnancy was doing its own thing. Then I wanted to murder everyone that said I LOVED being pregnant, I felt so good blah blah blah. Well I felt like an expanding, exhausted whale. I couldn't exercise like I'd planned to do the entire pregnancy to stay fit for the birth and to help my body recover post birth, I couldn't cook every evening like I so enjoyed. The best I could do was crawl up the stairs to our unit after a long day at work and curl up on the couch under a blanket and sleep.
A friend of mine shared a theory about what was happening to me. She believed that the reason I was so tired was no accident, as if I wasn't, I would be off swimming, running or doing some other activity, thus taking away the energy required for our baby to grow and develop properly. I think she was probably right. I tried bargaining with the universe to just give me a weeny tiny bit of energy so I could do something and that I wouldn't over do it. Of course when I started to feel better around week 17, I did over do it and ended up back in bed for a week. Sigh. Boring.
So I can't say I LOVED being pregnant. Nor did I love everyone saying that I'd feel better at a particular time and how much they adored being pregnant just after I'd finished saying how awful I was feeling. I did love connecting with our baby when she was in my tummy though. I loved how active she was (surprise surprise, I produced an active baby!) and how she somersaulted and booted around in there. I loved that she responded to me laughing, singing and talking. I loved when I could see her knee poking my belly out in an odd shape. I loved her. Not that I knew she was a girl at that time.
I am very mindful now around friends who are pregnant for the first time not to tell them what's going to happen or what they're going to feel, as everyone experiences pregnancy differently. Different story if they ask about my experience. Although I'm mindful to say this is what happened for me, but it could be different for you. We are all different, as are our babies, as are our bodies dealing with pregnancy. Some people get morning sickness, some people get evening sickness, some people get all the time sickness. Some times it lasts a few weeks, for some not at all and for others the entire pregnancy. There is no one size. So please remember...... just validate my feelings. That sucks that you feel sick all the time, is there anything I can do? Or I found this helped me, did you want to give it a go? Be with me and where I'm at. And remember, validate validate validate! :)
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